Monthly Archives: June 2014

A Rollicking Series

A Rollicking Series of Adjectival Lamentations

An extremely unfortunate blunder.

A dreadfully one-sided report.

A rumor that rumbles like thunder.

A largely uncalled-for retort.

 

An offensive response to an invite.

A comment that feels like abuse.

A dastardly error of insight.

An absurd, unenforceable truce.

 

A distressing decision to render.

An unforeseen tangle in plot.

A nasty surprise in your blender.

An unsightly trickle of snot.

 

A truly disturbing reflection.

A worrisome change in the weather.

A plan that will not pass inspection.

A consortium of birds of a feather.

 

A precipitous fall from a ladder.

A honking disturbance of geese.

An untimely failure of bladder.

An intractable blemish of grease.

 

A motley collection of kittens.

An effluvium of unpleasant gas.

A basket of mis-matching mittens.

A slither of snakes in the grass.

– Luci Shaw

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Oldest Trousers Ever Discovered

See Article at Smithsonian

The World’s Oldest Pants Were Developed for Riding Horses

3,000-year-old pants discovered in ancient tomb in China

These pants, which were recovered from a tomb in China, are about 400 years older than the previous record holder for “oldest pants,” which were found on Cherchen Man, who was buried in the same area.

new study revealed that these newest oldest pants were likely developed for riding horses. From the study’s abstract:

The tailoring process did not involve cutting the cloth: instead the parts were shaped on the loom, and they were shaped in the correct size to fit a specific person. The yarns of the three fabrics and threads for final sewing match in color and quality, which implies that the weaver and the tailor was the same person or that both cooperated in a highly coordinated way. The design of the trousers from Yanghai with straight-fitting legs and a wide crotch-piece seems to be a predecessor of modern riding trousers.

The owner of the pants was likely a warrior in his mid-40s and was buried with other horse-related implements, including a bit, whip, bridle and a horse tail, in addition to weapons. Horses were obviously important to the culture that buried this individual. Scientists believe that horses were first domesticated somewhere in Central Asia between 4,000 and 3,500 years ago, and it is likely that trousers were invented soon after the first human figured out that horses were really good at carrying people on their backs.

It makes sense that people would develop a way to ride horses comfortably soon after horses were domesticated. Riding a horse in a skirt before a proper sidesaddle was invented? Ouch.

If you want to see modern recreations of the kinds of clothes worn in China 3,000 years ago, like the pants, you only have to wait until 2017, when researchers from Germany and China plan on organizing an international fashion show showcasing what people on the Silk Road wore three millennia ago.

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Those wyr the best dayes of mie lyf

 

Sumer is Icumen In!

By Danièle Cybulskie

When I hear people talk about the Middle Ages, I get the impression that most people picture it as a time of mud and dreariness, in which people slogged miserably through their daily lives. While mud would certainly have been a big part of reality, there was also beauty, liveliness, and entertainment.

One of the most famous pieces of music that has survived is a Middle English song about summer: “Sumer is Icumen In”. Like us, medieval people were overjoyed at the coming of warm weather, and all of the loveliness that comes with it. Here are the lyrics (in Middle English, and in my own translation):

Sumer is icumen in
Lhude sing cuccu
Groweþ sed and bloweþ med
And springþ þe wde nu
Sing cuccu!

Awe bleteþ after lomb
Lhouþ after calue cu
Bulluc sterteþ bucke uerteþ
Murie sing cuccu
Cuccu cuccu
Wel singes þu cuccu
Ne swik þu nauer nu

Sing cuccu nu. Sing cuccu
Sing cuccu. Sing cuccu nu!

Summer has come in!
Loudly sing “Cuckoo!”
The seeds are growing, the meadow is blowing,
And the wood is springing newly.
Sing, “Cuckoo!”

The ewe is bleating after the lamb,
The cow is lowing after the calf,
The young bull is jumping, the buck is farting,
Merrily sing, “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”
You sing well, “Cuckoo!”
Don’t ever stop now!

Sing, “Cuckoo!” now, sing “Cuckoo!”
Sing, “Cuckoo!” Sing, “Cuckoo” now!

Now, I do wonder if the whole “farting” thing might have been supposed to be more like “snorting”, but medieval people did like their fart jokes (just watch or read one of their plays, and you can see for yourself!).

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